rice again

I started out ths post elaborating and building on how Beijing thinks that Beijingers should dress and behave during the Olympics.

an excerpt:

— Wear pyjamas in public
— Roll up trousers
— Wear white socks with black shoes
— Wear high collar if they have a short neck
— Women should not wear leather skirts, transparent garments, clashing colours or more than three colour groups at once
— No resident should display affection in public
— Press others to drink at a banquet

Thanks ImageThief

Almost immediately It occurred to me how what utter bullshit it all was. So here it is, my 5 Olympics Do’s. I hope you can come up with more!

1. Reach across the table and plonk “exotic” morsels on foreigners plates.
2. Reply “dog!” every time asked “what’s in this” by your foriegn guests. Pause then break out in light hearted laughter.
3. Engage foriegn friends in a few celebratory drinks. If they’re game, kill them with Bai Jiu.
4. Before hopping in your BMW tell them you’ve never heard of McDonalds.
5. Make a point of taking foriegn friends to places and attractions not officially sanctioned by BOCOG like your cousins KTV, the local bath house or a little known but renouned restaurant.